‘We know you’re here.’ That’s the message I found scrawled on a scrap of paper outside my door when I went to answer. Just that and my name. Gave me quite a turn, to tell the truth. I shut the door pretty hastily, I confess.

Of course, it could be quite innocent, just the local constabulary indicating that they know I’m in town and will be in touch to arrange a formal interview. Funny way of communicating though, for an official body, and I don’t mind saying that my mind’s gone into overdrive trying to work out who else it might be from. One of my former conquests wishing to renew our acquaintance perhaps? Seems unlikely. And there weren’t any kisses at the end of the message to suggest a womanly touch.

There is another possibility, of course. It may have something to do with my recent unwitting role in the departure of a certain Mafia boss from this earthly realm. I’d quite thought that now he was no longer with us any threat to me was unrealistic. But then I remembered how these mobsters cherish their vendettas and whatnot and it’s not a comforting thought. There may well be some vengeful relative, one I haven’t bedded I mean, who’s out for my blood… a case of Sicilian omerta or whatever it is that they call it.

But what to do? I can’t very well stay in my room for days waiting till the police get in touch. And it would be a criminal waste not to enjoy the pleasures of the city while I’m here. Then it hits me. It’s carnival time! Everyone’s dressing up – all I have to do is pick up a jaunty carnival mask off a stall somewhere and no one will be any the wiser that it’s world-renowned culinary master and unintentional nemesis of organized crime Tremayne Truelove who’s in their midst. Simple.

You see, when you’re faced with an apparently insoluble problem, all it takes is a bit of intelligent reasoning to find a solution. Easy, really. Well, it helps a bit if you’re famished and ready to faint if you don’t tuck into a plateful of Venetian cod baked in salt or some breaded veal cutlets or something. And I am. Funny how fast the mind can operate in such circumstances.

So here goes. A foray towards the Rialto to secure necessary disguise, then off to whatever top Venetian eatery is at hand to stuff my face. Wish me luck!

TTFNx